I feel so tired and drained, just let me lay here for awhile
This won’t go away. I try to smile & try to be OK.
I need friends to spend time with. The good kind, real kind. To go on bike rides with, find cool little hang outs spots, talk & laugh, share secrets, share laughs, share cries. To create good memories.
Yet I get so scared to even try to get close to people. I’m afraid that I’ll ruin it. That I’ll eventually push them away all bc I’m afraid that they won’t like me. That they’ll be my friend until they get bored of me, until they see who I am. Its my fault. This sucks. So bummed out.
Suddenly I remember
the smell of the ocean
and I’m brought back
to an unspoken understanding
I had with the universe